What Is Choosing Within Me?

Author: Dr. Pooyan Ghamari

Listen to the Spotify podcast for this article 

Most people are certain that they "choose." But if we pause for a moment and are truly honest, the real question is something else:

What is choosing within me?

Human experience shows that choice is often not the result of awareness; it is the result of memory. The memory of fears, deficiencies, upbringing, religion, culture, wounds, and patterns that were decided for us long before we were born. Humans are free to act, but they are often not free to desire. Desire itself is programmed.

The great religions have not hidden this reality.

In the Quran, it is stated: «إِنَّا هَدَيْنَاهُ السَّبِيلَ»

"We have shown him the way"—the path is shown, not imposed as a choice. And immediately it clarifies that a person's response to this path depends on their level of awareness, not merely on knowing.

In the Torah, life and goodness are placed "before" the human, not injected within them. Seeing is not enough; aware seeing is what matters.

The Gospel likewise views freedom not as the outcome of law, but as the result of encountering truth: "The truth shall make you free."

But what is truth?

Truth is not what we have preserved; Truth is that which, when we see it, we can no longer live as we did before.

Eastern philosophy states this openly. In the Vedic texts, it is said: As you see, so you create.

If the gaze is conditioned, choice is conditioned. If the gaze is free, choice becomes liberated.

Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita grants humans free will, but warns that attachment to outcomes turns free will into bondage. A choice arising from fear of loss, even if it appears correct, is not free.

Iranian wisdom understood this issue centuries ago.

Ferdowsi calls wisdom the "eye of the soul"; meaning without it, there is movement but no direction.

And Rumi (Shams), mercilessly yet precisely, says: That which does not transform you is not choice; it is repetition.

This is where the criterion for choice becomes clear. Aware choice is not recognized by excitement, nor by others' approval, nor even by immediate results. Aware choice has signs: calm after the decision, the ability to fully accept responsibility for consequences, and most importantly, coming closer to a more authentic version of oneself.

If a choice merely escapes you from one pain but adds nothing to your understanding, it is not choice; it is reaction.

If a choice collapses without others' gaze, it did not come from within.

And if a choice forces you to justify yourself, it has not yet matured.

In the end, the main question is simple yet ruthless:

If today you set aside all roles, beliefs, and habits, what do you truly want?

And do you have the courage to let go of something that no longer aligns with you, even if you have fought for it for years?

The Quran summarizes this path in one verse: «قَدْ أَفْلَحَ مَن زَکَّاهَا»

"Indeed, he succeeds who purifies it."

Purification means separating the voice of the "self" from the voice of fear, history, and repetition.

Freedom is not a point you reach. Freedom is a constant practice.

The practice of seeing, pausing, and choosing anew each time.

Most people continue their lives. The aware person sometimes dares to change the path.

And this is the beginning of true power.